Pandemic Pregnancy: Five Years On, the Trauma Still Echoes
The Nursery Conversation
I was chatting to some mums at nursery pick-up the other week. Our ‘pandemic babies’ are all starting school in August (how??), and somehow, in just 10 short minutes, we stumbled into something deeper - the shared experience of being pregnant during the first wave of the COVID pandemic in 2020.
Through warm smiles and casual laughs, we spoke about some of the darkest moments of our lives.
What We Missed
It left me feeling so sad that they too had experienced the familiar feelings of fear, anxiety, and loneliness that came with becoming a new mum in lockdown.
We should have been going to pregnancy yoga classes, welcoming visitors into our homes to meet our newborn babies, and dragging ourselves to baby classes in a sleep-deprived haze just to make friends and have a conversation with a fellow grown-up.
The Emotional Toll
Instead, we were scared to leave our houses - quite literally, in case we died. Pregnant people were advised to “shield” at home; the experts uncertain of the impact of catching COVID and it’s treatments might have on a pregnancy.
We were scared that we, our babies and everyone we loved would die if we went food shopping, if we went to work, if we did anything "normal." A feeling shared by our partners and wider social networks, I know.
Some of the mums said they barely have any photos from that time because it all blurred into one monotonous stretch. Some have photos but cannot bring themselves to look at them. Others - myself included - experienced the darkness of postnatal depression without access to our usual support networks or coping strategies. Walks on the beach, exercise classes, even just a coffee with someone who understood - gone.
Still Feeling the Ripples
The impact of such prolonged fear and isolation cannot be underestimated. Even now, the ripples are still felt.
One mum shared that she was recently triggered when the schools were unexpectedly closed and her children were sent home with remote learning tasks. The panic rushed back to the surface - a visceral reminder of lockdown life, after years of suppressing those feelings.
In my therapeutic work, I continue to hear stories like these:
Women who gave birth alone, without their partners, due to hospital restrictions.
People still struggling today with chronic health anxiety that was borne in those early lockdown days.
Clients who still feel socially anxious, unsure why a simple trip to a supermarket leaves them uneasy - not realising that their brains made a very real connection between socialising and danger.
The Grief No One Talks About
The COVID pandemic impacted everyone in some way. But for those of us who were pregnant and gave birth during that time, there’s a particular kind of grief we carry - one that’s often invisible to others. It’s the grief of what should have been. The pregnancy we hoped to enjoy. The birth experience we envisioned. The first cuddles with grandparents, the support of family and friends, the baby groups, the shared milestones, the cups of tea with other new mums in the blur of those early days.
We didn’t just miss out on those things - we’re still grieving them. Grieving the version of motherhood we thought we’d have. And because the world has moved on, that grief often goes unacknowledged, unspoken, and unresolved. It lingers in quiet moments - when we look back at photos that don’t exist, or when we see others having the experience we were denied.
It’s a loss that isn’t always recognised, but it’s real. And it deserves space.
What We Need
It’s been five years since it all began, and for many, it feels like the world has moved on. But the truth is, we haven’t. Not really. We just learned to hide it better.
As soon as we’re given the opportunity to speak, it becomes clear: the trauma is still with us - big T and little t. It’s just beneath the surface, waiting to be acknowledged.
So what’s the answer?
I joked to the other mums (because humour is often how we survive horror, isn’t it?) that maybe I should launch a group therapy programme for women who were pregnant or gave birth during the pandemic. But the more I think about it, the more I believe that there’s a real need for this.
We need space to share our stories. Because if we keep suppressing these memories, they’ll resurface - in moments we least expect.
Your experience is real. Your story is valid. You don’t need to be "over it" just because time has passed.
💬 I’d love to hear from you:
Were you pregnant or a new mum during the pandemic? Do any of these feelings still echo for you today? You’re not alone - and you don’t have to carry it all in silence.
If you would like to find out more about counselling, have a look around my website or reach out to me by email or DM on Instagram.
